Michael jackson jokes

• Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.
• If you are what you eat, then what the fuck has Michael Jackson been eating?
• Kids have got it easy today. When I was a lad, we never heard of paedophiles, so we had to buy our own fucking sweets!
• Victoria Beckham has announced she had an affair with Michael Jackson.Jacko has denied the allegations as he claims he was in Brooklyn at the time.
• Remember that news footage a few years ago showing Michael Jackson dangling a young child from a hotel balcony? Odd, because he normally just tosses them off.
• The police were searching Neverland after a new set of allegations against Jacko;First they went into the living room and found class C drugs.Then they went into the kitchen and found class B drugs.Then they went into the Bathroom and found class A drugs.Then they went into the Bedroom and found class 1C.
• What did Michael Jackson say when his last trial ended?He felt like a kid again.
• According to the papers, Michael Jackson is depressed. Of course he is - the fucking kids have gone back to school.
• Michael Jackson meets a young boy while walking around Neverland Ranch."would you like to see some magic",asks Michael."Sure",says the lad."Well for this trick you need to turn around,drop your pants and bend over",says Michael.So the lad turns around,drops his pants and bends over.Michael stands behind him and asks,"can you feel my finger going up your ass?"."I can",replies the lad.Michael then waves both hands in front of the lad and shouts "MAGIC".......
• A little boy came home from school and said, "Dad, is God a man or a woman?""He is both son.....male and female," he replied."Is he black or white?" he asked."Again, he is both black and white," the father replied."Well, is he gay or straight then?" asked the kid."Again, God is both gay and straight," he said."Dad.....is it Michael Jackson?"
• Michael Owen is in a nightclub. He spots a gorgeous young lady in there, and he goes up to her, squeezes her arse and asks her if she fancies a shag.She says: "Blimey, you"re a little forward, aren"t you?"
• Why doesn"t Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays?He puts his fags out in the pool.
• Jacko"s house was raided by the Drug Squad. They found some Class A in his living room, Class B in his kitchen and Class 3C in his bedroom.
• What does a big sale in the children"s department and Michael Jackson have in common?Little boys" pants - half off!
• A survey was taken in America.Apparantly Osama Bin Laden is more famous than Michael Jackson.Yeah, I suppose, but he puts a lot less effort into his videos doesn"t he?Although it"d really freak the Americans out if he just threw in a moonwalk now and again.Who would you want looking after your kids?
• Just shows now that Michael Todd has been found dead.Pigs can"t fly after all.
• What"s the difference between a naked kid and a black man?There"s no black man in Michael Jackson"s house.
• What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?They both leave little boys" bedrooms with empty sacks.
• You can say what you like about paedophiles, but they"re generous with their sweets.
• I bought my new car stereo today, it"s voice activated. If I shout "country" it plays Dolly Parton, if I shout "rock" it plays Guns and Roses. I was driving through town the other day when some children ran out in front of me, I shouted "FUCKING KIDS!" and it played Michael Jackson.
• Police digging at the Jersey Childrens" home have found Michael Jackson"s other glove.