- Supposedly Stephen Hawking has one of the best memories around.It cost £1500 from PC World
- When I was born I was given the choice of either being a really good shag or having a superb memory, so I erm... ah fuck it. I forgot what I was going to say.
- Dave the Scouser is touring the USA. Along the way, he stops off at a remote bar in the Nevada desert and chats to the bartender when he spots a Red Indian in full tribal dress seated in the corner of the bar."Blimey!" remarks Dave. "Who"s he?""Gee, that"s the memory man," replies the bartender. "He knows everything there is to know. Got a memory like an elephant, he can remember any fact. Heck, go and try him out!"Dave heads over to the Red Indian, thinking that he can outsmart him with a question about English football.He asks the memory man, "Who won the 1965 FA cup final?""Liverpool," came the instantaneous reply.Dave was stunned. He tried again asking, "Who did they beat?""Leeds," replied the memory man.Dave tried once more asking, "What was the final score?"The wise Red Indian didn"t hesitate in answering, "2-1."Dave thinks he"ll get smart, asking the memory man for the name of the winning goal scorer. Without so much as blinking, the Red Indian says, "Ian St John."Dave is stunned and returns home to Liverpool, where he tells everyone about the Red Indian. Dave"s curiosity lingers, and he vows to return to American and pay his respects to the Indian. Ten years later, Dave finally saved up enough money to return and, after weeks of searching the Nevada desert, once more he finds the Red Indian, now in a cave.Humbled by the Red Indian, Dave steps forward, bows, and greets the brave in his traditional tongue."How," Dave says.The memory man squints at him and replies, "A diving header in the six-yard box."
- I was in the shopping centre this morning when a man approached me, collecting for Alzhiemer"s.I said, "I"ve already given - don"t you remember?"
- My grandmother gave me a wish.I could either have a perfect memory or a huge penis.I can"t remember my decision
- Have you heard the one about the guy with Alzheimer"s?Ah, fuck, I forgot how it goes.
- My memory"s not as sharp as it used to be.Also, my memory"s not as sharp as it used to be.
- I couldn"t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
- I"ve got a fantastic memory...I can still remember the day a giant tadpole was banging me on the head.