Love jokes

• It is better to have loved a short girl then to have never loved a tall.
• I loved Gary Glitter when I was younger.Never knew the feeling was mutual...
• Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing.
• My wife has got long black hair running down her back...God , How I wish it was on her head
• Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.
• "I am a single man (30) seeking a life-partner to share my soul with. I am sensitive, caring and have a deeply loving nature. If you wish to give me your heart, I will give you mine and know that, held within your gentle hands, it will be safe for ever. No fat birds."
• He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed."Why are you stopping?" she whispered.He whispered back, "I found the remote."
• What"s the definition of "Endless Love"?Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
• Girlfriend, "Do you believe in puppy love?"Boyfriend, "I"ve tried it once, but their arses are too tight."
• Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I"m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn"t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring." As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife"s birthday, I"m going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn"t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet." As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I"m going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn"t like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"
• A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says. "I"m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, "Guess who?"""But why?" asks the man."I"m a divorce lawyer," the man replies.