Lol jokes

• Barack Obama recently said that he wanted to follow in the footsteps of his political heroes, Lincoln, Kennedy and Luther King.Surely this means he wants to be assassinated?
• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
• How do you keep a blonde busy?write Please Turn Over on two sides of a piece of paper
• Wesley Snipes has the worst acne..Have you seen his massive blackhead?
• I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
• What"s the quickest way to kill a Muslim?Shoot his rucksack.
• Why is sex like a bridge game ?You don"t need a partner if you have a good hand.
• What"s the difference between your mum and a Rubik"s Cube?I haven"t done a Rubik"s Cube blindfolded.
• Today I heard the deafening roar of laughter down my road.I didn"t think so many people watched the opening ceremony of the Paralympics.
• What"s sicker than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?A dead baby nailed to ten trees.
• I saw a guy in a wheelchair getting told what to do today.I said "Don"t you just hate being pushed around?"