Lightbulb jokes

• How many emos does it take to change a light bulb?1: None, they just sit in the dark and cry.Or2: Two, one to change it and one to write a poem about how much they miss the old light bulb.
• How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?Two. But how did they get in there?
• How many Beckhams does it take to change a light bulb?Two; one to scratch their head and the other to call the plumber.
• How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two; one to change the light bulb, the other to suck my cock.
• How many freudian psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?Two; one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis... er, I mean ladder.
• How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?Two - One to unscrew the lightbulb and the other to hold the step mother - I mean step ladder.
• I went out to buy some energy-saving lightbulbs today.Bollocks were they! I had to walk all over town to find some.
• How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?
• How does an American change a light bulb?Holds it under the socket and expects the world to revolve around him
• How many Yanks does it take to change a light bulb?None: they assume the sun shines out of their arses.
• How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it.
• One.How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?
• How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?One.
• How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?None, they expect us to do it for them.
• How many hot feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?Trick question - there are no hot feminists.
• How many Wigan Athletic fans does it take to change a lightbulb?Both of them.
• How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?Depends if the bulb owns any oil reserves or not.
• How many Alzheimer"s patients does it take to change a lightbulb?To get to the other side.
• How many soapy tit wanks does it take to change a lightbulb?I"ll do it for one.
• How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb?Let"s go ride our bikes!
• How many French students does it take to change a light bulb?About two - don"t ask me why, it was just a stab in the dark.
• How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don"t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn"t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they"ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID FUCKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!IT"S A WONDER WE HAVE"NT ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS........... I"m sorry... what did you ask me?
• How many yanks does it take to change a light bulb?Fuck knows, they"re all too fat to get up.
• How many niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?I don"t fuckin" know, it"s dark and I can"t see the bastards.
• Q: How many prison officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ... A: Two. One screw to screw in the bulb and another screw to screw the first screw should he screw up.