Leper jokes

• What did the leper say to the prostitute?Keep the tip.
• Did you hear about the leper who made his living as a gigolo?He was doing great until his business fell off.
• Hear about the leper on the trampoline?He strained himself.
• Did you hear about the leper that got divorced?He was in pieces
• What do you call a leper in a bath?Porridge.
• Then there was that world famous Russian leper... Andropov.
• How do you know when a leper has sent you mail?His tongue is still on the stamp.
• Why did the leper fail his driving test?Because he left his foot on the clutch.
• Why did the leper get kicked out of the army?He kept going into battle unarmed.
• Why was the leper ice hockey game abandoned?There was a face off in the corner
• How do you make a skeleton?Put a leper in a wind-tunnel.
• What"s green and melts in your mouth?A leper"s cock!
• A Leper goes into a bar on one of the hottest days of the year. A lot of people have their shirts off due to the heat so the Leper takes off his shirt too and goes to the bar and orders a pint. As he takes a sip, he looks at a guy on a stool next to him who is glancing in his direction. Suddenly the guy throws up all over the bar. The Leper feels insulted and says,"Excuse me!""Sorry," the guy says,"It"s not your fault."The Leper gets even more insulted and says,"Well, if it"s not my fault, whose fault is it?"The guy on the stool swallows down hard and manages to blurt out,"It"s the drunk guy behind you dipping chips in your back."
• What"s the definition of self-destruction?An epileptic leper.
• How can you tell if a Valentine card is from a leper?The tongue"s still in the envelope.