Legs jokes

• People scream and panic when you kill a chicken in front of them and it runs about for a bit.My solution: Cut its fucking legs off first.
• Q. What has 4 legs and 1 arm?A. A very happy Rotweiler.
• How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
• Just got back from the World Strawberry Picking Championships. Lost in the final to a girl with no legs.Jammy cunt.
• A man goes into a bar and approaches a gorgeous young woman who is sitting by herself:Man: "May I buy you a drink?"Woman: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."Man: "Im sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"Woman: "No, they just open..."
• What"s black, has eight legs and makes women scream?Gang rape.
• A woman was talking to her friend the other day."Honestly, I don"t know how I keep getting pregnant - it must be something in the air."The other woman replies, "yes, your legs."
• In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can"t feel my legs!Doctor: Yes, we"ve had to amputate both your arms.
• What"s got half a billion quid, 10 legs, 2 tits, 8 balls and 6 cunts?The Dragons Den
• What"s E.T. short for?Cos he"s got little legs.
• A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman"s apartment. "I can"t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all.""Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she"d ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times."If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"
• What"s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?It"s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board
• What did the left thigh of an Essex girl say to her right thigh?Nothing, they"ve never met!