Knife crime jokes

• I was walking home last night when some chav jumped out and drew a knife on me. The little fucker used permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash off.
• Teenagers who carry knives are to be taken to hospitals to try and shock them with the horrific injuries the victims have and to give them a chance to finish off the job.
• People keep going on about how bad knife crime is. They have to start looking on the bright side. I mean,at least its one way to deal with our nigger problem.
• The government wants young potential knife attackers to meet convicts in prison, and knife victims in hospital.It sounds suspiciously like a training camp.
• There is a saying that, "The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword".But try telling that to a London school kid.
• Two London teenagers who were stabbed to death ten days apart had prepared speeches on knife crime for a public speaking challenge, which has now had to be cancelled.The third boy in the contest, Dave "the Blade" Jackson, said he was happy to accept the first place award in their memory.
• Personally, I"ve wanted to see Gordon Brown come down hard on knives for ages.
• Home Secretary Jacqui Smith plans to "shock" youngsters who carry knives.To be honest, that"s the last group I"d be shouting "Boo" to.
• Just saw the Government"s hard-hitting new advert on knife crime.It"s set in London, and consists of a Paki stabbing a nigger during a street fight. There isn"t a white person to be seen.Don"t know if it"ll act as a deterrent, but at least it"s a realistic portrayal of London these days...
• I believe London just keeps getting better.Teenagers used to just stay in and cut themselves...Now at least they"re *interacting*.
• The recent murder of a "Young Harry Potter Star" was shocking and unexpected.Was it just me who saw the headline and was really disappointed when it turned out it wasn"t Daniel Radcliffe?
• They said on the news that knife crime is starting to affect people"s every day habits, and they"re absolutely right.Take me, for instance. I"m finding it much harder to abduct children.