Kidnap jokes

• There was a girl knocking on my hotel door all night last night......I finally let her out.
• The Austrians have taken their fondness for the Sound of Music too far. They even have their own Von Trapped family.
• My best friend Terry is fifty in a few weeks time. He has it all. A beautiful wife, two wonderful kids, both at University, a Bentley in the garage, a mansion in Surrey, a second home on the Algarve, millions in the bank, and he takes early retirement next year.I thought "what do you give the man who has everything?"After much consideration I opted for a ransom demand asking if he wants to see his wife and kids alive again.
• It"s a good job Shannon Matthews was found - imagine finding her in 24 years with 7 kids who look just like her.
• A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde". She pinned the note inside the little boy"s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
• Christmas dinner at the McCanns. Gerry asks the twins "who wants stuffing?" and one turns to the other and says "it"s at times like this I really miss Maddie"
• What"s the difference between Maddie and a red Ferrari?I don"t have a red Ferrari in my garage :(
• Shannon Matthews is said to be "Bubbly and relaxed"The poppers haven"t worn off yet then.
• What"s rusty and leans against BBC Television Centre?Alan Johnston"s bike.
• An increasing number of children are running away in the UK.I catch most of them though, I"m faster.
• It was my lucky day yesterday, I found £2,000,000 in a suitcase. Although it wasn"t exactly hard to find, it was where my victim"s parents said they"d left it