John terry jokes

• John Terry was unfortunate to miss out on an Adidas Football Boots sponsorship deal following defeat in the final. However, its not all bad news. He has been offered a very nice deal by a company who make slippers.
• The anticipation leading up to me is overwhelming. Although i only last less than a few seconds, amidst all the moans and groans, i bring immense pleasure to millions of people around the world. What am i?a John Terry penalty..
• New from Russia - John Terry Vodka...Bottled in Moscow.
• Copy this into a seperate urlhttp://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e122/mrsbe
• John Terry and Andy Murray are to train together next week, Terry will teach Murray how not to hit the net and Murray will show Terry how to hit the ball into the net.
• Zidane, Ronaldo and Terry are at the pearly gates of heaven when St. Peter opens the gate. He turns to Zidane and asks, "why do you deserve eternal happiness in Heaven, my son?"Zidane replies, "I am an artist: I inspire young people to be great footballers and in turn take them away from a life of crime." St. Peter nods, impressed.He turns to Kaka and asks the same question. Kaka retorts, "when I play football, I treat everyone as an equal: I see no ethnic or racial divides. The boy from Rio is the same as the superstar from Madrid."Once again, St. Peter is impressed and nods. Next he turns to Terry and says, "I suppose you want your ball back?"
• Ann Summers has brought out a new lubricant called KY Terry.It"s designed to help you slip in the box more easily.
• Did you hear about the new "Chelsea Bra"? Lots of support but no cups.
• Police are called to Old Trafford. A man in full Chelsea strip is standing on top of the main stand, threatening to throw himself off. The police negotiator says to him, "come on mate, it"s not that bad, don"t do it!""You don"t get it!" says the Chelsea fan, "for years I"ve been a Chelsea supporter, and this year I was convinced we would win everything. Instead, we were kicked out of the FA cup by Barnsley... we lost the Carling Cup final to Spurs... then we lost the Premiership to the Mancs, and then we went to the Champions League final and Man United beat us again! I can"t take it any more!""Ok mate, I do understand your pain," replied the negotiator, "but I don"t understand one thing... why are you here at Old Trafford? Why aren"t you jumping off the main stand at Stamford Bridge?"The Chelsea fan looked at the policeman and replied, "have you seen the fucking QUEUE?"
• It seems that John Terry took taking Didier Drogba"s place in the shootout a bit too literally which is why he fell over in the penalty area without anyone touching him
• Following the recent loss in the Champion"s League final and missed penalty, it is reported that John Terry is on suicide watch.Which I think is going to be hosted by Bill Oddie.
• When John Terry"s missus is not in the mood, she makes him wear his Chelsea shirt to bed; No chance of him scoring.
• john terry (thats the joke )