Jewish jokes

• What does a Jew with an erection get when he runs into a wall?A broken nose.
• Where do you send Jewish kids with A.D.D.?To concentration camps.
• Christianity: The belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live for ever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.Makes perfect sense really.
• What"s a Jew"s ultimate dilemma?Free pork.
• A half Jewish, half black Kid asks his Mom"Mom, am I mostly Jewish or mostly black?""That"s a dumb question" she replies "Go bother your Dad, already"Off he goes - "Dad, would you say I"m mostly Jewish or mostly black?""You"re just you, son, why are you asking dumb-ass questions like that?""Well, my friend"s selling his bike for 50 bucks and I don"t know whether to Jew him down to 25 or just wait until dark and steal the fucker"
• Why do Jewish fathers have their sons circumcised?They know Jewish women can"t resist anything with 10% off.
• A news reporter goes to see a Jewish man who has been going to the western wall in Israel to pray once a day for 70 years, the reporter goes up to him and says, "hello I"m a reporter for the BBC and we know you"re quite famous around this wall so we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions." The man agrees and she asks, "so we were wondering; what have you actually been praying for all of these years?"The man replies, "I have been praying for peace between the Jews and Arabs and for all world hatred and terrorism to stop, and for my children and grandchildren to grown up in a peaceful world." The news reporter says, "Wow that"s truly beautiful, how do you feel after doing this for 70 years?"The man replies, "I feel like I"ve been talking to a fucking brick wall."
• Why is it that, when the Sealed Knot recreate Civil War battles, it"s considered to be enriching historical entertainment and a nice family day out but, when me and a few mates attempt to recreate the holocaust, we all get arrested?
• What"s faster than a speeding bullet?A Jew with a coupon.
• What does a Jew do after he"s bought a round of drinks?Wake up screaming!
• Circumcision is practiced by all Jews, most Muslims and a large number of Americans. Is it just me, or does there seems something really wrong with people who feel its perfectly acceptable to cut part of a child"s dick off?
• how many jewish sons does it take to change a lightbulb answer: none, i'll just sit here in the dark, i'm just their mother, why should they worry