Jackson jokes

• Janet Jackson has gone down with a mysterious illness and been forced to cancel some of her shows.Mysterious illness my arse, nothing mysterious about throwing up after drinking a bottle of vodka.
• If you are what you eat, then what the fuck has Michael Jackson been eating?
• The police were searching Neverland after a new set of allegations against Jacko;First they went into the living room and found class C drugs.Then they went into the kitchen and found class B drugs.Then they went into the Bathroom and found class A drugs.Then they went into the Bedroom and found class 1C.
• What did Michael Jackson say when his last trial ended?He felt like a kid again.
• According to the papers, Michael Jackson is depressed. Of course he is - the fucking kids have gone back to school.
• I bought my new car stereo today, it"s voice activated. If I shout "country" it plays Dolly Parton, if I shout "rock" it plays Guns and Roses. I was driving through town the other day when some children ran out in front of me, I shouted "FUCKING KIDS!" and it played Michael Jackson.
• What"s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous to children, the other is a plastic bag.
• Jacko"s house was raided by the Drug Squad. They found some Class A in his living room, Class B in his kitchen and Class 3C in his bedroom.
• What does a big sale in the children"s department and Michael Jackson have in common?Little boys" pants - half off!
• It"s the weekend, with a week to go before Christmas.Michael Jackson is sitting at home with his aide, and feels like getting into the Christmas spirit, so asks his aide to go out and rent him a DVD...something with a bit of a seasonal feel. Trouble is, Jacko hasn"t really much of a clue what he wants, so his aide suggests "Tell you what Michael, seeing as you"re a big Disney fan, why not get Aladdin?"To which Jackson replies: "Fuck off, you know what I had to go through last time I did that..."
• What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson"s dreams every night?Hanson.
• A survey was taken in America.Apparantly Osama Bin Laden is more famous than Michael Jackson.Yeah, I suppose, but he puts a lot less effort into his videos doesn"t he?Although it"d really freak the Americans out if he just threw in a moonwalk now and again.Who would you want looking after your kids?