Islam jokes

• Why did the Prophet Mohammed marry a six-year-old?Because he was a paedophile.
• Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity.
• How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it.
• Two muslims walk into a bar. Boom Boom!
• What do female Muslims use for birth control?Their faces.
• Why do so many Muslims marry their own cousins?To ensure the next generation will be dumb enough to accept Islam.
• Strike back at Islam.Run into your local mosque with 20 pounds of pork sausages strapped to your chest.
• How many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?None, they expect us to do it for them.
• Arab scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the middle ages.They"re calling it "Islam".
• Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pintof goat"s milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and startsflipping through pictures and they start reminiscing."This is my oldest son Mohammed. He"s 24 years old now.""Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully."He"s a martyr now though," mum confides."Oh so sad dear," says the other."And this is my second son Khalid. He"s 21.""Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born"."He"s a martyr too," says mum quietly."Oh gracious me ...." says the other."And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He"s 18," she whispers."Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school"."He"s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don"t they?"
• You know, if this Islam bollocks turns out to be true, everyone who takes the piss out of Muslims will be sent to hell by Allah.Ah well. At least there won"t be any Pakis down there.
• You would think that the great prophet of a major world religion would have more important things to be offended at than having a teddy bear named after him. If I were him, I"d be more offended about the millions of Pakis named after me.
• I"m having some problems with my new Staffordshire Bull Terrier- I rang the vet for some advice.I explained he was brown, stupid, aggressive and liable to attack anyone for no good reason.The vet replied " Muzzle "im? " No, I said- I think he"s an atheist.
• Children these days can"t win. You get in trouble for refusing to take part in Muslim prayers during RE lessons, but when you try to show an understanding of Islam by drawing a nice picture of Mohammed in art lessons you get in trouble for that, too.