Internet jokes

• I bought some drugs on the internet that they say make you live forever. So far so good.
• The Internet is such a terrible unregulated place.I know its hard to believe but I found a website the other day with no porn on it.Where do I go to complain??
• The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI.
• Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some action.Eager to please, I sent her my ironing. That should keep her quiet for a while
• There are two types of people in the world;Those who understand binary, and those who have sex.
• I met an amazing girl on the internet. Smart, sexy and uninhibited.Of course, it turned out to be a twelve year old paraplegic boy.I"ll be honest, the sex was disappointing.
• I just watched the footage of Saddam"s Hussein"s execution...It made me wonder if there is anything on the internet that I wouldn"t masturbate to.
• **PLEASE BE CAREFUL ABOUT INFORMATION GIVEN ONLINE**...Last night my wife was talking to a guy online. He seemed a really nice guy at first but soon he started begging to meet up for sex.Fuck me, he should"ve asked for a photo first.
• Some journalists in Beijing have complained that they"re being denied access to certain websites. The Chinese government have denied that they are censoring the internet, but the journalists are still kicking up a stink.Now, see, what the Chinese government should have said was, "yeah, we censor the internet, but we only block child porn and gay fetish websites". The journalists probably wouldn"t be so quick to speak out after that.
• One thing I don"t like about Facebook is that they broadcast to the whole world every subtle change you make to your profile. Normally this is no big deal until your friends start reading too much into certain news feeds like... "Ryan has left the group "I have never had sex with a goat""
• Arguing on the internet is like entering the special Olympics.Even if you win, you"re still a retard!