- I think my uncle was a ventriloquist,He used to put his hand up my bum and tell me not to talk.
- My wife suggested that to spice up our sex life we have a threesome. She looked at me with a sly look in her eye and said if we wanted to, she could call her best friend, or alternatively, if we felt really kinky, we could call her step-sister. Well, lets just say that it was the best night of my life for many years!I called them both, left the three of them to get on with it, and fucked off down the pub to watch the football.
- What upsets a Muslim more than insulting his prophet? His sister refusing him sex.
- Why do so many Muslims marry their own cousins?To ensure the next generation will be dumb enough to accept Islam.
- My daughter was moaning at me again yesterday. She always does that when I rub her clit.
- I remembered today that the kids are back to school soon, so I rushed out and bought my daughter a uniform.I tell you what, she makes one fucking sexy French Maid.
- A girl is watching her father shower. She points to his penis and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?" He looks at his watch and says, "When your mother leaves for work!"
- Me and the wife were trying roleplay in the bedroom last night.She walked out in a huff after 30 seconds. Apparently, asking your wife to pretend to be your daughter isn"t very sexy.
- A man takes his nine year old daughter to the doctor. After several hours in the waiting room, (NHS...) they"re called in."Hello," the doctor says. "How can I help you?"The man nods, "It"s my daughter, I was wondering if you could put her on birth control.""Birth control?" the doctor is incredulous. "She"s too young to be sexually active!""Sexually active?" the father says, "She just lies there like her mother!"
- A guy rings his boss at work and says, "Look, I"m really sorry, but I can`t come to work today. I"m sick"."Sick!" screams his boss. "Sick! This is the tenth time this month. Just exactly how sick are you?""Well", he replies, "I"m in bed with my 9 year old daughter."
- A 13-year-old Belgian girl wrote to the advice column of a teenager"s magazine: "I am 13 years old and I"m the only virgin in the class. Is my Dad queer?"
- I was at a family gathering and I had a shocking realisation. I saw my mother-in-law, and it hit me - in 25 years time, that"s what my wife will look like. But it wasn"t all bad - it occured to me that, in 25 years, our young daughter will probably look like my wife does now - so there is always that option.
- I saw a Childline ad the other day that said, "Sarah"s uncle forces her to do things she"s too young to understand".Eh? It"s not rocket science: You just give it a few tugs and white goo comes out. Kids these days really are thick, aren"t they?
- How do you determine if your father has been sodomizing your kid sister?
Whenever you suck his cock and it tastes just awful.