Immigration jokes

• Going to war without the French is like... World War II
• Why does the French flag have Velcro?So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war.
• What did France used to be called ?Germany, until the Brits saved them.
• The Muslims are forever carrying out terrorist attacks on Israel, because the Jews keep taking over their land and forming their own communities.I recently went to Luton, and realised the Muslims are a bunch of hypocrites.
• The latest poll taken by the UK yielded results on whether or not people who live in UK think illegal immigration is a serious problem: a) 39% of the respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem." b) 61% of the respondents answered: "To nie stanowi powaznego problemu."
• I was going through US immigration recently. The stern Official asked, "do you advocate the overthrow of the government by violence or subversion?" I thought for a second, then replied, "violence, I think."
• An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously."Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn"t have to show it.""Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France !"The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.Then he quietly explained."Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Sword Beach on D- Day in June 1944, and I couldn"t find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to"
• Two families moved from Pakistan to England. When they arrived the two fathers made a bet - in a year"s time whichever family had become more British would win.A year later they met again. The first man said, "My son is playing football, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I"m on my way to pick up a case of Lager, how about you?"The second man replied, "Fuck you, towel head."
• I was doing a survey in London- the question was "What are your views on Migration to the UK?"7% of people asked said they thought it was a good thing.12% of people asked said they thought it was a bad thing.And 81% of people asked didn"t speak English.
• ----- The British Solution to Save PetrolBrown wants us to cut the amount of petrol we use...... The best way to stop using so much petrol is to deport 3 million illegal immigrants! That would be 3 million less people using our petrol. The price of petrol would come down..... Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Channel....When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Channel, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq . Tell him if he wants to come to Britain then he must serve a tour in the military.... Give him a soldier"s pay while he"s there and tax him on it..... After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country..... He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident..... . This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. ..... If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo..... Problem solved..... If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends. .........I just did.........
• Contrary to the popular cartoon, there are actually no builders in the UK called Bob.That"s because "Bob" isn"t a Polish name.
• I don"t know what all the fuss is about with this shark coming to Cornwall.It"s the first thing in ages that has tried to get into this country that is white.
• Who works in a corner shop, has 8 kids and stinks of curry?The UK"s entire population by 2030.