Homosexual jokes

• What,s the difference between a priest and a homosexual?The way they say ahhhh-men.
• Did you hear about the gay butcher?He was a real mincer
• I think all homosexuals are fucking arseholes.
• An emo walks into a large homosexual gathering, better known as a My Chemical Romance concert.
• A Scouser inadvertently goes into a gay bar for a beer. He sits at the bar supping his pint when one gay gentleman decides to chance his luck. He approaches the scouser and whispers something into his ear, whereupon the Liverpudlian turns around in complete disgust and horror and proceeds to punch the living fuck out of the homosexual, fist after fist punching him out the door, kicking him across the pub car park, relentlessly punching and kicking until the victim lay comatose. The Scouser then dusted himself down and calmly returned to his pint at the bar, whilst the horrified staff and clientele stood silent and motionless.Eventually, the barman plucks up the courage to ask what had happened:Barman: "Bloody hell mate. What on earth did he whisper to you?"Scouser: "Dunno, something about a "job"."
• I went into a pub the other day. There was an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, two Asians, an African man, and two homosexuals.... didn"t stay long.
• An Essex girl and John are playing a game of hide and seek.John counts to 100 while the essex girl hides.After about 30 seconds, John gets a text from the Essex girl saying:"If you find me, you can lick my pussy and fuck me up the arse and, if you can"t, I"m in the shed!"
• I got asked to judge "Mr Gay UK" the other week. I said no problem, he"s immoral, against nature and he"s going to hell.
• A Charity Pantomine in aid of paranoid schizophrenics and homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "he"s behind you."
• Four old friends get together over a drink after many years. They start to talk about this and that and, while one of the four is at the bar, the topic gets round to children. The first of the three says, "I"m very proud of my son, He started working in a factory but kept up the study with night school classes and eventually did a degree with the Open University. He rose through the ranks to become a company director and is now the CEO. He is so rich he bought his best friend a top-of-the-range Mercedes."The second says, "I"m really proud of my son, too. He started as an airline steward, saved up and went to pilot school and and since started his own air transport company. He"s really rich too and even bought his best buddy a Cessna for his birthday. What about that?The third chips in, "I can"t tell you how proud I am of mine. He studied engineering and then created his own construction company. It was hard work but he"s made millions. He bought a luxury penthouse flat for a friend for his birthday." At this point the fourth man get back to the table with his drinks, and one of the three asks: "How"s your son? Steve"s his name, isn"t it?""Steve? Steve"s a homo, a male prostitute, he takes it up the arse for a living. Never done an honest day"s work in his life!"His friends say, "Oh God! Back luck! That"s terrible. So sorry..." etc, etc.To which he replies, "On! It"s not so bad. He"s a top-notch bum-boy... none of your Picadilly Circus for him. He live the life of Riley doing bugger all. He was so lucky this year that his best clients gave him a luxury Mercedes, a private plane and a wonderful apartment for his birthday!"
• Following the finding of the mutilated body of a young man in Manchester"s gay district, police have said that they intend to intensively probe members of the homosexual community.Apparently they are already forming a queue.
• An Arab has been found dead at the bottom of Michael Barrymore"s swimming pool.Apparently it was a suicide bummer.
• I love going up my local club. My favourite bit is the "erection section".But my mates call it "getting frisked by the bouncers".