Homeless jokes

• Homeless people. Lighten your load by not buying a dog.
• Studies have proven that cats are smarter than dogs.How many cats do you see sat by a homeless person?
• Knock, knock jokes............Completely wasted on the homeless.
• I came out of woolies the other day and saw a scruffy bloke.He was playing the guitar and singing "When I was young,seemed like life was so wonderful,a miracle,it was beautiful,magical "I said "thats supertramp ", he said "ah thanks very much ".
• I saw a woman in a burkha selling the Big Issue yesterday.That"s sad, I thought: they"re even stealing jobs from the homeless now.
• I always try and date homeless girls.It"s easier to get them to stay over.
• I"d love to help the homeless people.... I just don"t know where they live.
• I was in London the other day and this tramp came up to me and said, "Mister I haven"t tasted food in a week"I said "Don"t worry it still tastes the same".
• Knock, Knock,Who"s there?Biggish,Biggish who?Fuck off you homeless Cunt!
• How do you make an orphan"s hands bleed?Tell him to clap his hands til daddy comes home
• A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don"t tell me, you want a toothpick too.""No, a straw," says the Tramp.The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff"s gone already".
• While walking down the street, a bum asks a man for £2."Will you buy booze?" the man asks, to which the bum replies "No.""Will you gamble it away?" Once again the bum replies "No."Then the man asks, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn"t drink or gamble?"