Grass jokes

• Why do midgets laugh when they run?Because the grass tickles their balls
• What is the difference between a midget and a freak?Political correctness
• My ex-girlfriend tried to make me jealous by sucking off a midget.To be honest, I thought it was a bit of a low blow.
• Time saving gardening tip:If you water your grass with beer, it will come up half cut!
• This married couple have just been to a fancy dress party and they are dressed in a cow costume with the the bloke in the front and the woman in the back. They cross over a field and the woman hears running footsteps, then she shrieks "oh my god, its a bull coming, what shall we do?"The bloke says "I"m going to eat some grass...you better fuckin" brace yourself"
• What"s the difference between Princess Diana and a beautiful bed of flowers?About six foot
• I"ve just bought some of that new Emo turf from B&Q.This grass will cut itself.
• Was walking past our local drug rehab centre the other day.Quite amusingly, there"s a sign outside that says "KEEP OFF THE GRASS"
• I was in my local park earlier on and i saw a keep off the grass sign!I couldn"t help but think... how did it get there.
• Why can"t Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the rugby?They eat all the grass.