Gordon brown jokes

• When Britain was an Empire, She was ruled by an Emperor.When Britain was a Kingdom, She was ruled by a King.Now Britain is a country, She is ruled by Gordon Brown
• Gordon Brown was not elected by us, he was given to us. Does this make him a donation? If so can we give the fucker back?
• How do you ruin a party?Make Gordon Brown the leader.
• The government really are sneaky bastards. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you have to drink more.
• Following the recent media frenzy about youth crime, Gordon Brown has said he is targetting "problem families" Me too! Last weekend I burned down two council houses.
• Is it racist that I assumed the word "HIV" was missing when I saw the headline "Gordon Brown Is Positive After Private Meeting With Barack Obama"?
• This test only has one question, but it"s a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.THE SITUATIONYou are in England, York to be specific.There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.This is a flood of biblical proportions.You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you"re caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.You"re trying to shoot career-making photos.There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.Nature is unleashing all its destructive fury.THE TESTSuddenly, you see a man in the water.He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...You suddenly realise who it is... It"s Gordon Brown! You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options:You can save the life of Gordon Brown or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country"s most powerful men!THE QUESTIONHere"s the question, and please give an honest answer...Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
• What"s brown and makes a mess of everything?The Prime Minister.
• Personally, I"ve wanted to see Gordon Brown come down hard on knives for ages.
• Gordon Brown"s solution to cutting your fuel bills? Close your curtains and switch off the lights.I"ve been doing that for years. Usually just before I whisper to my daughter "say hello to Mister Sausage".
• Gordon Brown goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get aroused."The doctor replies, "I"m not surprised...you"re a cunt."
• Metaphorically, the "Midas touch" is defined as someone of good fortune, for whom everything they touch "turns to gold".Gordon Brown is said to have the "Andrex touch."