Fucking jokes

• Bestiality is wrong! People who do that are Fucking Animals
• FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. 1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything
• Apparently, my wife was telling me, obesity runs in her family...it would be the only thing that fucking does...
• I had my first sexual experience at infants school, I shagged little Jenny Jenkins behind the bike sheds.She said I was better at Fucking than teaching Maths.
• My mate died after fucking an inmate at the psychiatric hospital where he worked.Turns out he had a serious nut allergy.
• Tom and Tim were having gay sex. "I"ve got AIDS" said Tom."Oh fuck," said Tim."Only kidding," said Tom, "I just love the way you tightened your arse when I said it."
• I was thinking, the human brain is such an amazing thing.But then it occurred to me - what"s telling me that? Fucking showoff.
• A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph"s Hospital. She timidly asked "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator said, "I"ll be glad to help, dear. What"s the name and room number?"The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Katie Findlay, Room 69".The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, "Good news. Her nurse has told me that Katie is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine. Her blood test just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Sutherland, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday".The grandmother said, "Thank you. That"s wonderful! I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."The operator replied, "You"re more than welcome. Is Katie your daughter?"The grandmother said, "No - I"m Katie Findlay in Room 69. No one tells me fuck all here."
• Ever tried anal sex?It"s fucking shit!
• "I"ve got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says. "What"s the bad news?" asks the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately you"ve only got 3 months to live". The patient is taken back, "What"s the good news then Doctor?". The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?", the patient nods his head and the doctor replies, "I"m fucking her."
• What is the definition of indefinitely?Well, when your balls are slapping against the back of her arse, I"d say you"re in definitely