Fat jokes

• Apparently 60% of kids are overweight, and 72% of kids are having underage sex......So who is shagging all the fat kids?
• My friend recently had a miscarriage. But look on the bright side: Slimmer of the Month.
• I used that new Lynx deodorant with a touch of chocolate last night.My mates were pissing themselves, I pulled every fat bird in the club.
• Apparently clumsy people are more likely to be obesethats because they keep walking into things....like McDonalds
• An extremely ugly fat bird walks into a pub, and shouts "if anyone can guess my weight they can shag me". A guy in the corner replies "93 stone you fat cow".Close enough she replies, you lucky bastard
• I went to see Chubby Brown at the weekend. As soon as he came on stage I started shouting "You fat bastard! You fat bastard!"Then I was told by security that that sort of behaviour wasn"t tolerated at the Labour party conference.
• A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he"s pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?""No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?""No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."
• *Here you go America! This one"s for you. AND you"ll be able to understand it!*Yo momma"s so fat...she must be American.
• An American walked into an English pub and asked for a pint of Budweiser.The barman replied "You"re American aren"t you?"The man says, "Yeah. Could you tell by the drink I ordered, or the accent?"The barman replied. "Neither, you are the fattest fuck I have ever seen."
• I find all these obese jokes horrible.Don"t you think they have enough on their plate?
• I got arrested for kicking the shit out of some fat bastard last week. It turns out Fat Fighters isn"t quite what I thought it was.
• People say you shouldn"t be mean to Michelle McManus - after all, she recently lost six stone!Yeah but, to be fair, that"s like throwing a deck chair off the Titantic.
• two fat men are in a pub, one says to the other '' your round '' the other says '' so are you ya fat cunt! ''