Fat bitch jokes

• Vanessa Feltz is to be a new judge on American Idol. Apparently she goes down well with the American Audience.Well, she is an ugly, fat bitch with no sense of humour or discernible personality.
• Vanessa Feltz is going to be starring in the Pantomime Dick Whittington in Liverpool. I guess thats the nearest she is going to get to dick this year then.
• When I woke up this morning there was a heavy dew on my lawn.it was Vanessa Feltz
• Vanessa Feltz lost 6 stone.She had a shit.
• Vanessa Feltz spoke out today on Breakfast Television, about the importance of dealing sensitively with male impotence.Apparently she has known a lot of men who have suffered with it.
• Vanessa Feltz will be returning to our screens in the Autumn in her new chat show; Ask Vanessa. Her first two guests will be Kerry Katona and Jade Goody. If anybody from Al Qaeda is reading this.................
• Did you hear Vanessa Feltz was arrested at Heathrow Airport?Allegedly she had 40lb of crack in her knickers.
• Did you hear in the news that Vanessa Feltz has been raped? No!...and your never going to either
• What do you get if you cross Vanessa Feltz with Michele McManus?About 5.4 on the Richter Scale.
• A piece of 27-year-old cake from the wedding of Prince Charles and Princess Diana has been sold to an anonymous bidder at auction for 1,200 pounds.I reckon it was Vanessa Feltz, that fat bitch will do anything for cake.
• Vanessa Feltz has revealed she is hoping to get swept off her feet by her Fiance next week. Unless her Fiance is Hurricane Gustav, I can"t see it happening personally.
• You guys hear the news about Vanessa Feltz?Appartently she"s got a bun in the oven!!!... 2 pies in the microwave and some bacon under the grill!
• I saw that programme about Jerry Springer"s family which told how he lost relatives in the Holocaust. It really made me stop and think.If only we"d given Hitler a few more years we wouldn"t have had to put up with Vanessa Feltz.