Face jokes

• How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?Dress her up as a goat.
• What do you do if you see a nigger coming toward you with half a face?Stop laughing and re-load
• What do female Muslims use for birth control?Their faces.
• Why was the leper ice hockey game abandoned?There was a face off in the corner
• My wife went to the beauty parlour for a facial mud pack.She looked really nice for a couple of daysThen the mud fell off.
• Why are Black women different than Oriental women?They only squint when you cum on their faces.
• Went to a Muslim strip club last week, where all the blokes were chanting "show us ya face".
• A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard."Are you the manager?", she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands."Actually, no," the man replies."Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair."I’m afraid I can’t," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,"she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently."What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say."Tell him," she whispers, "There is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
• My ex-girlfriend says that I spoilt her and that I"ve ruined her for other men.In fairness, I did throw acid in her face.
• facebook.cn, the Chinese version of Facebook, was launched earlier today.Within hours, it had 12 million pages, but unfortunately, they"re all the same.
• Bill Clinton is walking down a corridor in the White House when he sees a pretty young girl walking towards him."Hello," he says "Are you new here?""Yes," she replies "I started yesterday.""Ah," answers Bill "I thought I hadn"t come across your face before."
• I tried dogging in Surrey for the first time the other week.I don"t drive, but you should have seen the look on the taxi driver"s face.