Essex jokes

• What is the difference between an Essex girl and a fishing trawler?One stinks of fish,is covered in crabs and full of semen,the other is a boat for bringing in fish
• Essex woman is being driven home and asks her boyfriend to kiss her somewhere wet and warm.He says its too late to go to Canvey Island.
• Only in Essex can a girl be both jailbait AND a M.I.L.F.
• What does an Essex girl use for protection during sex?A bus shelter.
• How do you know an Essex girl is having an orgasm?She drops her chips.
• What is the difference between Essex Man and Essex Woman?Essex Woman has a higher sperm count.
• Did you hear about the Essex girl who had two chances to get pregnant?She blew them both.
• What does an Essex girl say after her eleventh orgasm?"So, do you all play for the same team?"
• What does an Essex girl say after sex?"Thanks, lads."
• I don"t want to perpetuate the stereotype of all Essex girls being filthy sluts, but one time I raped a girl from Romford, and afterwards she gave me her phone number.
• An Essex Girl enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose from our range on the wall." She says "I"ll take the red one." The man replies "That"s a fire extinguisher."
• An Essex guy and an Essex girl are making out in his car when the girl says, "Put your finger inside of me!"He is only too willing to oblige."Put another finger inside of me!"So he does."Put your whole hand inside of me!" she says, moaning in pleasure."Now put both hands inside of me!" she screams."Now clap!" she gasps."I can"t clap!" replied the guy."Tight, aren"t I?" she smiles.
• Q: How many Essex girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ... A: Don't be silly, Essex girls don't screw in lightbulbs - they screw in pools of vomit.