Epilepsy jokes

• What do you call an epileptic person in a wheelchair?A Transformer!
• What do you call an epileptic cow?Beef jerky.
• Did you here about the Epileptic that won the break dancing competition?He just got up to get a pack of smokes!
• Why rape epileptic women?They do all the work!
• What do you do if you find an epileptic having a fit in the bath?Throw your washing in.
• What do you call a good-looking epileptic ?Fit.
• How do you make an epileptic fit?Alcohol and makeup should do it.
• What do you call 500 epileptics in a disco?A foam party.
• How do you train to become a world class bull rider?Marry an epileptic
• My ex-girlfriend was epileptic.I decided to break up with her in the middle of one her fits.. I know the timing seemed bad, but I just felt she was moving too fast.
• What do you call a group of epileptics in a bowl?Seizure Salad!
• What do you call an epileptic in a bush?Russell.
• How do you make an epileptic fit?Lubricant.
• The new epileptic diet:- A shake in the morning- A shake in the afternoon- And a proper meal at night
• I was sat on a bus with a mate and he told me the following joke:What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?Throw in your washing.The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that"s disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he choked on a sock."
• What"s blue and doesn"t fit?A dead epileptic!
• Didn"t think my mate would get another job when he was diagnosed with epilepsy.But apparently it qualifies him as a carpet fitter.
• What do you do when you"ve just seen a Muslim have an epileptic fit ?Stop recording and upload the video on to Youtube
• Englishman on holiday in Texas.He wanders into a local shitkickers bar and has a good few beers.After a while, he notices there"s one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol" Texan bull, etc.The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving."No one"s ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.The crowd is awestruck. He"s fast approaching the World Record.The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face."Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How"d you do that?"The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife"s an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"
• What"s the definition of self-destruction?An epileptic leper.
• My girlfriend"s epileptic and flashing lights can give her a seizure.That"s why I carry a torch when she"s giving me a hand job.
• What's blue and never fits properly? ANS: A dead epileptic.
• What's an epileptic's favourite game? Hide and Shake.