Ejaculation jokes

• My girlfriend told me she was hoping for a white Christmas......So I spunked in her eyes!
• A father is sitting watching Star Wars with his two young sons. During an exciting scene, the kids are jumping around and they say to their father, "Daddy! Daddy! We wish we were shot into space!"The father replies, "you would have been if I had not been so pissed."
• A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn"t have the greatest relationship. "You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you.""Why, because you miss me?""No, because it keeps me from coming too fast."
• I went to a fancy dress party the other week, wearing only a pair of Y-fronts.A woman at the party said to me, "this is a fancy dress party, what are you supposed to be?""A premature ejaculation," I said."What do you mean?" replied the woman."I"ve come in my pants," I said.
• I don"t see the problem with premature ejaculation.I mean, sex AND an early night!
• I"ve been told that one good thing about having premature ejaculation is that you can save heaps of cash. My friend Mike is a sufferer but I can attest, he"s definitely paid off three mortgages in the last 15 years, all with money he says he"s saved from what he would have spent on porn if he was normal.He reckons he bought the video for Debbie"s Dirty Desires back in 1992 and still hasn"t made it past the age certificate warning.
• They"ve invented a new condom that cures premature ejaculation. It"s coated on the inside with anaesthtetic.The big advantage is that you can turn them inside out and have her up the wrong "un and not have to wake her up and listen to her complaining.
• Why do men get confused between hide and seek and sex?In both cases after one minute they shout, "Ready or not, I"m coming!"
• I went to the doctor"s a few weeks back. I told him that I"ve just started seeing a gorgeous girl and I"m having trouble lasting more than a few minutes when I fuck her.He told me, "maybe it would help you last longer if you thought about something horrible when you get aroused, like naked grannies or dead children."It didn"t work at all... now I have a terrible problem with premature ejaculation!
• A Shopworker feels horny and decides to have a wank there and then. Frapping away he hears the owner approaching, he panics and shoves his cock in the till."You look happy!" says the owner."Yeah," replies the worker, "I"ve just come into some money."