Dumb jokes

• What did the blind, deaf and dumb girl call her dog?Eeeuuuurrrrhhhh!
• How do you sink an Irish submarine?Knock on the door.
• What did Jesus say to Americans?Act stupid until I get back.
• What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?Pull out the pin and throw it back.What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?Run like fuck she has a grenade in her hand.
• When the police arrest a deaf and dumb person, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• What do you call a female chav with two brain cells? Pregnant.
• Blonde takes her broken down car for repair. The mechanic fixes it in two minutes. "Just shit in the air filter" he says. Blonde says "How often do I have to do that?"
• A blond decides to go ice fishing. So she cuts a hole in the ice and sets up her stool when a voice booms from the heavens, "There are no fish under that ice." She moves her stool over ten feet and cuts another hole. Again, a voice says, ""There are no fish under that ice!""Is that you God?" the blond asks. "No. This is the manager of the ice rink."
• *Here you go America! This one"s for you. AND you"ll be able to understand it!*Yo momma"s so fat...she must be American.
• Pythagoras" theorem: 24 words.The Lord"s prayer: 66 words.Archimedes" Principle: 67 words. The 10 Commandments: 179 words. The Gettysburg address: 286 words. The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.U.S. Government regulations on cabbage sales: 26,911 words
• I"ve recently been encouraging my sixteen year old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education.Last week she came home with five applications,and later that night I read them.Under "previous employment", she listed "baby sitter".Under "reason for leaving" she wrote,"they came home".
• What did the blind, deaf and dumb girl get for Christmas? Cancer.What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for her birthday? Raped.What do you do after you have raped a blind, deaf and dumb girl?Break her fingers so she can"t tell mummy.What did the blind, deaf and dumb girl get next Christmas? She didn"t make it.
• Overheard today at the airport check in desk, from a loud American couple-" Ma"m, are you sure it is still safe to fly to Atlanta? Only we hear that the Russians have been attacking Georgia."
• A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde". She pinned the note inside the little boy"s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."