Donkey jokes

• What is the most stupid animal in the jungle?A polar bear.
• What do Jesus and Mohammed have in common?They both came on a donkey.
• I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"I said, "No, but I"ve told a donkey to fuck off."
• One day a farmer"s donkey fell down into a well. The animal criedpiteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do..Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to becovered up anyway;It just wasn"t worth it to retrieve the donkey.He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They allgrabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, thedonkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, toeveryone"s amazement he quieted down.A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. Hewas astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit hisback, the donkey was doing something amazing.He would shake it off and take a step up.As the farmer"s neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of theanimal, he would shake it off and take a step up.Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edgeof the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick togetting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each ofour troubles is a steppingstone.. We can get out of the deepest wellsjust by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.Remember the five simple rules to be happy:Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.Live simply and appreciate what you have.Give more.Expect lessNOW ..Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back,and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.The gash from the bite got infected andthe farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.MORAL FROM TODAY"S LESSON:When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comesback to bite you.You have two choices...smile and vote this down, or vote this up tospread the fun.
• The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read:PASTOR"S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR"S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was all too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE! The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else"s ass and you"ll be a lot happier and live longer!
• I"ve got a cock like a donkey. I"ve been using it to give kids rides down on the beach under the pier.
• Why don"t the Spanish have driving lessons and sex education classes on the same day?Because it tires out the donkey...
• A Paki was riding through town on his donkey when he sees a man. He stops and gets off his donkey. The man asks "Is your donkey male or female"? "Female" says the Paki. "How do you know?" asked the man. "Well," said the Paki. "When I was riding her through town people were shouting "Look at the cunt on that donkey".
• There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn"t know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he"s going with his donkey. "Anywhere I go, she goes." "I"m sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can"t take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we"ll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn"t want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was. ""Great!"" replied Bozo. ""How much do I have to pay?"" he asks. ""One thousand dollars for the food."" ""But I haven"t touched the food." ""It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV." ""But I didn"t even know how to turn the damn thing on!"" ""It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed." ""But I slept on the floor!"" ""It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars." ""You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey."" ""But sir, I didn"t screw your donkey."" ""It was there. You should have!""
• Why don"t they have sex education and drivers awarness on the same day in Pakistan?Its too much work for the donkeys.