Disability jokes

• Why did the disabled boy fall out of his wheel-chair?Because I lobbed a brick at the fucker.
• I was at that newly-built supermarket yesterday, and there was hundreds of disabled spaces.I should have known parking costs an arm and a leg these days.
• I think people should stop making jokes about the disabled - my girlfriend is disabled and one thing I know is she will never leave me.Well, she would, but I took the wheels of her wheelchair
• What cartoon character enjoys shagging spastics?Pokemong.
• Stephen Hawking has bet 100 dollars that the Hadron Collider Experiment will not work. A whole weeks disability allowance, Stephen? Fingers crossed for you mate.
• How do you kill a bunch of retards on a bus?Put poison on the windows.
• Abu Hamza, Heather Mills.... no wonder no one trusts amputees any more.....
• I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."Unbelievable what some people are into.
• A husband and wife are sitting round the table with their three daughters eating dinner when the oldest of the three asks her parents, "Why was I named Daisy?""Well," said her mother, "when you were born a daisy flew in threw the window and gently landed on your forehead so we thought it would be nice to name you after it."The middle daughter then says, "So why am I called Rose?""Well," said her mother, "when you were born a rose flew in threw the window and gently landed on your forehead so we thought it would be nice to name you after it." The daughter smiles and continues to eat her dinner.A few minutes later the youngest of the three says, "mnnnnnuugughhhh hhmmmmddssssssggggtuuuu tgnngnnnnammj!"The mother says to her, "Oh shut up Brick!"
• I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what"s your disability?"I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"
• My friend is in a wheelchair, so I gave him a chainsaw, wrapped him in tinfoil and sent him on Robot Wars. But seriously - he"s dead now.
• What do you call a spastic in a wheelchair?Anything you want, they"ll just smile and try to hug you.
• What"s better than winning an Olympic gold at the Paralympics?Not being disabled.
• What"s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?Christopher Walken.
• I have just read the joke by rossgreen88:" I don"t know about you, but I"m sick of seeing disabled people being pushed around."That"s just your opinion. I can"t stand people in wheelchairs.
• What"s black and sits at the top of the stairs?Stephen Hawking after a house fire.