Cry jokes

• Anyone who says onions are the only veg that make you cry has never been hit in the face with a turnip!
• How do you make your girlfriend cry during sex?Phone her up
• How many emos does it take to change a light bulb?1: None, they just sit in the dark and cry.Or2: Two, one to change it and one to write a poem about how much they miss the old light bulb.
• Some people cry when they cut onions. I try not to form an emotional bond.
• Why do black men cry after sex?Pepper spray.
• I was walking along a high cliff one day and saw a little boy, all alone and he was crying. I asked him, "Son, what are you doing up here all alone?" He replied, with tears in his eyes, "My mum"s down there at the bottom. She fell!""That"s terrible!" I said. "And your dad?""He"s down there right next to her. He tried to save her and he fell too!""That"s awful!" I said. We shared a quiet moment there, together, looking out at the sky over that grand cliff. And then, when he asked me why I was unbuckling my belt, I told him, "Son, today just isn"t your day."
• What"s 18 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night?Cot death.
• What"s the difference between a Paki and an onion?I cry when I cut onions.
• What"s the difference between a fridge and a 5 year old?A fridge won"t cry when you stick your meat in it.
• What do an abused child and John Terry have in common?They both cry when they"re beaten...