Cripple jokes

• What do you call a Sikh with one leg?Balan Singh.
• Gary Glitter rides a little girl and only gets three years,Christopher Reeve rides a horse and he gets the fucking electric chair!
• What do you call a woman with no legs?Dirty cunt.
• Steve McClaren was out shopping when he spied a little, old, mentally handicapped cripple with one arm and one leg, struggling with his heavy shopping. feeling samaritan like, he said;"excuse me friend, but can you manage?""yes" he replied "and so much fucking better than you can"
• George Sampson, teenage winner of Britain"s Got Talent "08, has been advised by doctors never to perform his winning dance routine in public, for fear that it may leave him crippled for life.It"s not that the routine itself is dangerous. It"s just that if he keeps dancing like a queer, he"s likely to get the shit kicked out of him when he goes back to school.
• What"s black and sits at the top of the stairs?Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
• Why does Heather Mills-McCartney keep ranting like a mad-woman?She can"t feel it when she shoots herself in the foot.
• A man, who"s level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face."Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud."Screw it," he thought. "I"ll just crawl home."The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep."You went out drinking last night, didn"t you?" she said."Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?""You left your wheelchair at the bar again."
• What do you call a man with no legs?Whatever you want - he can"t chase you.