Cricket jokes

• Who was the last English person to leave Australia with the Ashes?Paula Yates
• Michelle Williams has been offered the position of England Cricket coach.The ECC believed that her experience of fucking Australians and bringing home the ashes would be a great asset
• Having done so badly in the Cricket World Cup the Pakistan Cricket team are taking up a new sport...Bob Sleighing.
• It has emerged that Paula Yates was being considered for the position of England Cricket coach at the time of her death.The English Cricket Board believed that her experience of fucking Australians and bringing home the ashes would be invaluable.
• Australia may have won the cricket world cup, but Pakistan went home with the ashes.
• This bloke is pacing up and down at home while his wife is in hospital giving birth. The phone rings and the bloke answers."This is the hospital, sir, your wife has given birth to twins. However, there are more on the way."The bloke puts the phone down and takes a large swig of vodka. The phone rings again. "This is the hospital, your wife has had another little boy, and there are still more on the way."The bloke drinks the whole bottle of vodka - by now he is totally wankered. He picks up the phone to ring the hospital to find out if she"s had any more babies but, by mistake, he rings lords cricket ground.When the phone is answered, he asks, "what"s the latest?"And the person on the line says, "97 all out, and the last one was a duck!"
• What"s the difference between a cricket ball and an Abo chick"s pussy?If you tried really hard, you could eat a cricket ball.
• Nazi concentration camp commandant calls an Englishman, Australian and a Jew into his office."Ve are going to have a cricket match."He turns to the Englishman: "You vill be ze capitan of ze English team"He turns to the Aussie: "You vill be ze capitan of ze Australian team""What"s my part in this then?" asks the Jew"You vill be ze ashes"
• A guy goes to the doctor and says "I"ve got a cricket ball stuck up my arse". The doctor says "How"s that?", and the guy replies "Don"t you fucking start".
• We are the most successful team at the Paralympics! So, look at it this way... our Football Team, Rugby Team, Cricket Team and Tennis Players may be shite; but our Mongs are the best in the world... doesn"t it make you proud to be British?
• Why is Sir Paul so bad at cricket?He"s always getting fucked by the stumps....