Cooking jokes

• Wanted:A tall well built woman with goodreputation, who can cook frogslegs, who appreciates a good fuc-schia gaden, classical music and tal-king without getting too seriousbut please only read lines 1, 3 and 5
• Feminists; if only they put all that passion into their cooking.
• How do you make a Jewish Omelette?First you borrow 3 eggs....
• I wanted to ask my wife her honest view on sexist jokes.But she was too busy doing the cooking.
• I got a call at work today from the hospital. They said my wife had been admitted and she may have to be kept in overnight. I was very worried; who would cook the dinner?
• One of the things I really miss about my wife is the smell of her cooking.I have to admit though, she did taste rather nice along with the roast veg.
• I see a lot of women are using this site...The dinner won"t cook itself you know.
• I bought some Jamie Oliver sausages from Sainsbury"s the other day. On the side of the packaging it said "Prick with a fork".
• A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mum, I have something to tell you - I"m gay."His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she"d heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You"re gay? Doesn"t that mean you have oral sex with other men?"The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mum, that"s right."His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and smacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don"t you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!"
• What"s the hardest part of eating a vegetable?The wheelchair.
• My girlfriend just sang to me for the first time.She sang "You make me feel like a natural woman"It was nice, but it annoyed me that she"d put the iron down and stopped cooking to sing to me.