Cocaine jokes

• You can call me sick if you want but, after my parents and wife died, the first thing I thought about was the next X-Factor audition.
• Hollywood are going to make a film about a black cocaine dealer. Its called chocolate and the charlie factory.
• I have just read an article that said Kerry Katona fell for her husband because he had all the best lines.Yeah, cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine being her personal favourites.
• I woke up in a hospital after taking 5g of cocaine last night.The dealer caught up with me and kicked my head in.
• I saw a sign in a public toilet yesterday. It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would like to have found it in". So I left a porno mag and a line of coke.
• I remember on The X Factor there was a 25-year-old black woman with five kids who"d previously been a crack addict. Simon Cowell said she was a "unique person".I think we can all tell he hasn"t been to Croydon recently.
• According to the BBC website, "cocaine users are getting younger".I have always avoided illegal narcotics but, now I"ve found out that they actually reverse the ageing process, I"m going to give them a bash.
• What is Daniella Westbrook"s favourite sex position?Fuck Nose.
• I"m not addicted to cocaine.I just like the way it smells.
• I tried snorting coke once and dident like it the ice cubes got stuck in my nose :B)