- Its going to be a hard decision for Americans on who to vote for President. One candidate is black and the other makes great oven chips.
- forget barrack obama and Clinton....vote for McCain....his oven chips are fucking lovely.
- Prince Phillip and the Queen were dining in one of London"s top restaurants.The waiter comes over and asks what Phillip would like to order."I"ll have two rare steaks my good fellow."Waiter, "Does sir mean two bloody steaks?"Phillip, "Yes quite right old chap, two bloody steaks."Queen, "And plenty of fucking chips!"
- INFATUATION CUNT!That is the answer, but what was the question?A Paki goes into a chip shop and asks, "how are the chips cooked?"
- A Leper goes into a bar on one of the hottest days of the year. A lot of people have their shirts off due to the heat so the Leper takes off his shirt too and goes to the bar and orders a pint. As he takes a sip, he looks at a guy on a stool next to him who is glancing in his direction. Suddenly the guy throws up all over the bar. The Leper feels insulted and says,"Excuse me!""Sorry," the guy says,"It"s not your fault."The Leper gets even more insulted and says,"Well, if it"s not my fault, whose fault is it?"The guy on the stool swallows down hard and manages to blurt out,"It"s the drunk guy behind you dipping chips in your back."
- With all the rises in food costs, pretty soon the phrase "cheap as chips" won"t mean fuck all.
- What"s red and slimy and can be found on the floor of a fish shop?Abortion of chips
- An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman go for the same job.The manager says he wants each of them to go into his office one at a time to take a test.The Englishman goes in and is presented with a potato, a lettuce and a knife.The manager asks him which is the odd one out.The Englishman says, "the knife, that"s mineral and the other two are vegetables.""Well done," says the manager, "send the Scottish guy in."The Scotsman is presented with the same test.He says, "the knife - you can eat the other two.""Fair enough," says the manager, "send in the Irish chap."The Irishman goes in, and is again faced with the same test.He answers, "the lettuce""How have you reached that conclusion?" the manager asks.The Irishman says, "come on, it"s dead easy - you can make chips with the other two,"
- A policeman stopped me the other day and said, "I"d like you to blow into this bag sir." I said "What for officer?"He said "My chips are too hot."