Child abuse jokes

• A study has found that ginger headed children do not get abused or sexually molested. Which goes to show no fucker want`s to play with them.
• There is no denying that society is getting increasingly violent, but too many parents are wrapping their children in cotton wool.I still prefer wrapping them in clingfilm because you can cut little access holes with a penknife.
• According to police reports, there are apparently no less than three paedophiles living on my street. That really is shocking... I wonder who the other two are?
• Why are uncles like curries?Bad ones hurt your arsehole.
• I was a victim of child abuse.Three 8-year-olds beat me up and stole my wallet.
• I for one am vehemently opposed to the campaign for women priests in the Catholic Church.Call me a chauvinist if you like, but I feel that women, by the very nature of their gender, are simply not equipped to carry out the duties required of a priest. I mean, seriously, how the fuck is a woman supposed to bum an altar boy?
• The Government has announced struggling pupils are to get one-to-one help with the "Three Rs". Great idea. I did that with my kids.Rohypnol, rimming and rape.
• Ultimate phone prank:1. Call the Childline number and say, "I"ve just pressed redial and this number came up, who is this?"2. Operator replies, "You"re through to Childline."3. You shout, "TERRY, YOU LITTLE CUNT, NOT AGAIN....COME HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD" before hanging up the phone.
• Last year ChildLine received 2.3 million phone calls from distressed children.I hope they asked the bill payers permission beforehand, if I ever caught my son using the phone I"d beat the fucker until he was black and blue.
• Women. They are confusing creatures, eh?My wife suggested "spicing up" our sex life. But when I suggested to have a threesome with the girl next door, she was disgusted and threw me out.Personally, I don"t see the problem. She was the one who said the girl next door was "cute" whilst we were babysitting.
• I used to do the pools every week, but not any more.I stick to the arcades now. There"s fewer parents about.
• Being a paedophile is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs:You know that it"s wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they"re enjoying it as well.
• whats the difference between man utd and baby p? i dont have a wank when i hear about man utd getting a good beating at home