Chat up jokes
- hey baby, did you fall from heaven? because your face is pretty messed up
- Did you know that 95% of girls masturbate in the shower?
- U asshole!
Yeah it's true. You know what the other 5% do?
- No what?
Oh so you're in the 95% I see :)
- Wanna get a pizza and fuck?
*wait for a look of revulsion*
What you don't like pizza?
- hey you - your really sexy - we should go out on a date..
girl say "sorry - i have a boyfriend"
i say " no way - i have a maths test on monday"
she say "whats that go to do with anything?"
i say - "oh sorry - i just thought we were making a list of things we could cheat on!" ;)
- hey baby - ur really hot - you wanna play the fire engine game?
how do u play?
well - i start running myhand up your leg untill you say "red light"
"fire engines dont stop for red lights :)!"
- *puts hand on shoulder*
"9 out of 10 rapes start with a shoulder touch and a conversation about apples."
*lean in closer*
"Granny smith's are my favorite"
- Hey wanna fuck and order some pizza?
WTF is wrong with you?!?!
Well, we can have chinese or something else, there's no need to get pissed!
- "Helllooooo pretty, do you want to play rape?"
her: NOOOO!
"THATS THE SPIRIRT"