Chat up jokes

• hey baby, did you fall from heaven? because your face is pretty messed up
• Did you know that 95% of girls masturbate in the shower? - U asshole! Yeah it's true. You know what the other 5% do? - No what? Oh so you're in the 95% I see :)
• Wanna get a pizza and fuck? *wait for a look of revulsion* What you don't like pizza?
• hey you - your really sexy - we should go out on a date.. girl say "sorry - i have a boyfriend" i say " no way - i have a maths test on monday" she say "whats that go to do with anything?" i say - "oh sorry - i just thought we were making a list of things we could cheat on!" ;)
• hey baby - ur really hot - you wanna play the fire engine game? how do u play? well - i start running myhand up your leg untill you say "red light" "fire engines dont stop for red lights :)!"
• *puts hand on shoulder* "9 out of 10 rapes start with a shoulder touch and a conversation about apples." *lean in closer* "Granny smith's are my favorite"
• Hey wanna fuck and order some pizza? WTF is wrong with you?!?! Well, we can have chinese or something else, there's no need to get pissed!
• "Helllooooo pretty, do you want to play rape?" her: NOOOO! "THATS THE SPIRIRT"