Carlsberg jokes

• Eighteen year old virgin.No recollection from the victim.No witnesses.Carlsberg don"t do rapes....
• Carlsberg don"t do family slaughter...But Fosters do.
• Stockings and suspenders.Crotchless panties.Micro miniskirt.See through blouse.Carlsberg don"t make School Uniforms.........
• Tight virgin pussy..Hairless body..Our little secret..Carlsberg don"t do children...But I do.
• Bloated, gassy feeling in your stomach with acidic belching.Been for a piss four times already, and you"re not even tipsy yet.Weird metallic taste in your mouth, even though you watched the barmaid pour it on draught.Hungover the next day, even though you were still perfectly coherent and co-ordinated when you went to bed.Carlsberg do do lager...
• Gulf War : 64 British soldiers killedGulf War 2 : 75 British soldiers killedAfghanistan : 28 British soldiers killed Carlsberg don"t do friendly fire incidents...... the fucking Yanks have cornered the market.
• 25 million jews murdered between 1933 and 1945.Carlsberg don"t do holocausts...
• A plane takes off from Thailand with Gary Glitter on board. It stops at China to pick up Gordon Brown, before diverting to India to pick up Jade Goody.It arrives to Madrid where the passengers change to a Spanair flight to the Canary Islands.Carlsberg don"t do plane crashes
• NEWS FLASH!All the pakis in the world are dead!Carlsberg don"t do newsflashes, but if they did, they"d probably be the best newsflashes in the world.
• Maddie McCann.Carlsberg don"t do child abduction, but if they did...