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David Blaine is apparently gutted at the minute. He has discovered his 44 day record of doing fuck all in a box has been smashed by Darren Bent.
What do Gary Glitter and a Kodak film have in common?They both come in a small yellow box.
What do you call a Chav in a box?Innit.
I bought a self-help tape the other day.It was called "How to handle disappointment."When I opened the box, it was empty.
Why did the chav get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?Because on the box it said, "From 2-4 years."
McVities have just bought out a new biscuit range, "Clitoris-Creams".They carry a guarantee. "One lick and you"ll want to eat the box"
A man approaches the circus manager and tells him about his act."I drink two litres of petrol, strap ten bars of dynamite around my waist, hold a grenade in each hand, climb into a cardboard box and then finally set fire to myself.""Wow! That"s amazing," says the manager. "Could you please demonstrate it for me?"The man replies, "better not, I can only do it once."
Why can"t Barbie and Ken have kids?Ken comes in a different box.
What"s worse than having silicone tits? Having a cardboard box.
Sue had been married to Frank for 20 years.One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and £5.000. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband about it."Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn"t so bad."But what about the £5000?""Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."