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I had my work appraisal yesterday.The boss said that "there is no I in team" to which I replied "but there is a U in cunt."
A man goes up to his bosses office and says, "Sir, you got to give me a raise, three other companies are after me.""Well is that a fact?" his boss asked, "Well which companies would they be?"The man replies, "The electric, phone and gas companies"
My boss is black and this week he called me into his office and accused me of being racist.I told him I don"t like his tone.
In the men"s room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink.It had a single word on it: "Think!"The next day, when he went to the men"s room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "Thoap!"
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife, and she asked me, "How many potatoes would you like?""Oh, I"ll just have one, please."She said, "It"s OK, you don"t have to be polite.""All right," I said, "I"ll just have one then, you stupid bitch."
I got fired at work today.My boss said my communication skills were awful.I didn"t know what to say to that.
My boss really is a bastard. He calls me in to his office and says, "You know, I really don"t know how we would cope without you..." and just as I get my hopes up he continues, "...but starting Monday we"re going to try."
A boss gives his gorgeous secretary an expensive fur coat as a Christmas present.As she is admiring herself in the mirror her boss looks her up and down and says, "your knickers are coming down."Embarrassed, she quickly looks down to check."No they"re not," she replies, relieved."They are, or the coat goes back to the fucking shop."
The boss of a small company has two employees; Jack and Jill. Just recently the company has been doing badly so the boss decides one of them must go. Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma."Look Jill, I"m afraid I"m going to have to lay you or Jack off."Jill replies, "You"ll have to jack off then, "cause I"ve got a headache."