Boobs jokes

• How do you titillate an ocelot?Oscillate its tit a lot.
• I once dated a girl with one boob bigger than the other.She entered a wet t-shirt competition and won first and third prize.
• Scientists have discovered that the average tit weighs 1.5kg, but they cannot work out the average weight of a cunt.So if you could pop on the scales and ring me back.
• Why is a Wonderbra so called?Because, when she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.
• 9 out of 10 men prefer large boobs.The other man prefers the 9 men.
• What do you look for in a good Bra?A cracking pair of tits, usually.
• What kind of bees make milk?Boobies
• I heard on the news today that flat chested women have a 50% higher suicide rate than women with naturally big boobs.This isn"t a joke I just wanted to share the great news!
• Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?If you have wondered why, but couldn"t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! {A} Almost Boobs... {B} Barely there. {C} Can"t Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake{G} Get a Reduction{H} Help me, I"ve fallen and I can"t get up!
• A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn"t recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith"s?" "Why, yes I am... How did you know?" He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock..."
• Why are women"s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
• An elderly couple living in a care home were coming to the end of their days and they wanted to make love one last time, so they sneak into the stock cupboard when no one is looking. Now Ethel hadn"t been well for some time but hadn"t wanted to trouble Fred. Fred however was feeling rather amorous and groping her everywhere, unclipped her suspenders, ripped her bra off and was just about to get down to business when Ethel shouted out "Stop.... I have something to tell you".Fred rather frustrated said to Ethel "What is it my lovely?""I have acute Angina" she repliedFred giggled and said "I know and your boobs aren"t bad either"
• Two parents take their son on a holiday and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mum and says "Mummy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"The mum says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Minutes later he runs back and says, "Mummy, I saw men with willies a lot bigger than Daddy"s!" The mum says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mummy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
• A taxi driver in Manchester was sat in his cab, hands down his pants, doing a routine testicular cancer check, when a gorgeous girl with great big boobs climbed in."How much to Oldham?" she enquired.He said; "You can hold "em for nowt, love, if I can hold yours as well!"
• Why do boobies have nipples? If they didn't they would be pointless.