Deprecated: mysql_pconnect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/gordondent/hahasincludes/libs/dblib.php on line 17 Blow jokes - HaHas.co.uk | Ha HA Jokes
Why did the Prophet Mohammed marry a six-year-old?Because he was a paedophile.
Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.
I played a game of blow-football with my nephew yesterday. Sadly he had an asthma attack half way through.Still... 10-0!
A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"The customer says, "Female"The counter guy asks, "Black or white?"The customer says, "White"The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"The customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"
Two Middle Eastern mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pintof goat"s milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and startsflipping through pictures and they start reminiscing."This is my oldest son Mohammed. He"s 24 years old now.""Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully."He"s a martyr now though," mum confides."Oh so sad dear," says the other."And this is my second son Khalid. He"s 21.""Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born"."He"s a martyr too," says mum quietly."Oh gracious me ...." says the other."And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He"s 18," she whispers."Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school"."He"s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don"t they?"
A blonde and a brunette are talking in the office...Blonde: I"m not feeling very well... I have a sore throat.Brunette: When I have a sore throat, I give my husband a blow job... the next day, my throat is fine.Blonde: Hmmm... interesting.The next day...Brunette: How"s your throat?Blonde: Fine... your idea was great! Your husband couldn"t believe it was your idea!
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I"ve been shooting my load in your mouth for the last 20 years and you"re still fucking talking aren"t you?"
Little Johnny walks in to his parents" bedroom, only to see his mum bouncing up and down on his dad. They quickly stop, and his mum dismounts."What are you and dad doing?" Johnny asks her."Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to flatten it", she explains."You"re wasting your time" says Johnny, "When you go shopping, the lady next door gets down on her knees and blows it right back up".
What"s the difference between a Muslim and an inflatable raft?Someone else blows up an inflatable raft.
A policeman stopped me the other day and said, "I"d like you to blow into this bag sir." I said "What for officer?"He said "My chips are too hot."