Deprecated: mysql_pconnect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/gordondent/hahasincludes/libs/dblib.php on line 17 Blondes jokes - HaHas.co.uk | Ha HA Jokes
Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?More leg room
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?Six. One to stir the mixture, five to peel the smarties.
What do you call a female chav with two brain cells? Pregnant.
What did the blonde get on her IQ test?Nail Varnish.
What do blondes put behind there ears to attract men?Their ankles
A blonde calls up an airline ticket counter and asks, "How long are your flights from London to Glasgow?"The ticket clerk replies, "just a minute, madam...""Thank you", says the blonde, and hangs up.
There were three blondes stuck on an island and they had been there for a few days, when they stumbled across a magical lamp. One of the blonde"s rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out and offers to grant each of them a wish. The first blond says, "Make me smart so I can think of a way to get off this island."He points his finger at her, and she turns into a redhead. Then she heads to the water and swims towards land. The next blond says, "Make me even smarter than her so I can get off this island!"So he points his finger and she becomes a brunette, and she builds a boat and sets sail. The last one says "Make me smarter than both of them combined!!"The genie points his finger at her and turns her into a man, the man then walks across the foot bridge back to mainland.
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with death, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I"m chopping down the next tree I see. I don"t care whether it"s decorated or not!"
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don"t like getting flowers?"The redhead says, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don"t feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."The blonde says, "Don"t you have a vase?"
Two blondes are walking down the road as a funeral goes by."Who do you think has died?" says one."Don"t know," says the other, "But it"s my guess it"s the one in the coffin"
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don"t worry . . . we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don"t worry... we still have one engine left." A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we"ll be up here all day!"
Two blondes were in a building when it catches fire."Quick! Let"s jump out the window!" one yells to the other."What? Are you crazy? We"re on the 13th floor!" comes the reply.The first blonde puts her hands on her hips and, with a stern look, says, "listen here miss, this is not the time to get superstitious."
Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?Blonde guys ain"t that smart, either!
Two blondes walk into a building..........you"d think at least one of them would have seen it.