Beastiality jokes

• Steve Irwin died the way he livedWith animals in his heart
• I was forcing the dog to give me a blow job this morning when he suddenly turned on me.But his ass was just as good.
• Where else but Wales can you get a fuck, a nice warm coat AND a casserole all from the same date.
• I had some luck on the horses today.The farmer went out so I crept in the stables and fondled them all day.
• A man walking through a field sees another man behind a sheep, sweating and grunting."Hi," says the man, "you shearing?"The man with the sheep replies, "no, fuck off and get your own!"
• Capitlization is the difference between:"I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse"and"I had to help my uncle jack off a horse"
• An arab is walking through customs and the customs woman wants to ask him some questions."Sex?" asks the customs woman"Yes, please!" says the arab"No, I mean male or female?" says the customs womanThe arab says, "Both...and sometimes camel too!"
• A man is sitting at home feeling horny as hell. He digs around the house for loose change and comes up with $10, and heads for the local brothel. He approaches the madam and says, "I only have $10 but I am so horny! Please, please I just want to fuck something!" The madam says, "OK, If you"re that desperate I"ll let you fuck a goat." The madam instructs him to go to the first door on the right. Once there, he sees a goat tied to the corner and a large mirror on the wall. He proceeds to go behind the animal and fucks away like crazy. He finishes and leaves. A couple of days later, he feels horny again, digs around and finds $5. He goes back to the brothel and tells the madam he only has $5 but he"s really horny and wants to fuck the goat again. She tells him he fucked the goat so hard he killed it. Instead, she could let him watch two women mud wrestle for $5. The guy agrees and she instructs him to go to the second door on the right. He walks into a dark room and sees a few guys sitting in front of a large window watching two women mud wrestle. He sits down and says to one of the other guys, "This is great." The other guy says, "Yeah, but you should have been here a couple of days ago when they had some guy fucking a goat!"
• The husband says to his wife, "You have three choices: you can come hunting with me, you can let me fuck you in the arse or you can give me a blowjob."The wife, not being interested in hunting and not feeling in the mood to be anally probed, opts for the blowjob.While she is down there, doing her best effort, she looks up at her husband and says, "Honey, your dick tastes like shit!"To which the husband replies, "Yeah, the dog didn"t want to go hunting either."
• Why can"t Arabs have sex education lessons and driving lessons on the same day?The camels get too tired.
• A farmer in West Virginia and his wife were lying in bed one evening, she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?" She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it." He frowns for a moment, then says, "O.K." He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face. About half an hour later he returns all tired and sweaty and says, "Well, I"m sure the cow and sheep didn"t, but the way that pig squealed, it"s hard to tell."