Bbc jokes

• According to reports on the BBC (and in the Daily Star) today many new migrants and asylum seekers are objecting to the large number of dogs, especially fighting dogs, owned by members of the British public. Many of these migrants are from countries where dogs are considered pests, not pets, and a they find them dangerous and intimidating.I must admit, I generally agree. I think we should get rid of the lot of them; they are smelly, eat any old rubbish and shit everywhere, they are dirty, of little practical use, can be loud and irritaing and simply get in the way when you are going about your business in town centres. Oh - and they also complain about our dogs.
• Is it just me or should the Paralympics be on a comedy channel instead of BBC1?
• The BBC football gossip column is like your wife; you have to look at it every day but never pay attention to anything it says.
• How many people work at the BBC?About half of them!
• Dear Points of View,I am appalled at the level of racism nowadays on the BBC. Last night I watched Crimewatch. It was all wogs, niggers, pakis and coons!
• The Daleks are an evil alien race, hellbent on world domination. They will exterminate anything or anybody that stands in their way. Their only emotion is hatred. Hatred of any non believer.Sound familiar?Pure coincidence then that their leader, Dalek Khan, has an Islamic name.
• Avoid your body being surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news report about Britains obesity problem, by always wearing a T-shirt with "All newsreaders are cunts " written on it .
• I"ve heard that Mark Speight has finally had some good news! Apparently neither the BBC or ITV would offer him a job but thankfully he"s turned up on a local station instead!
• I called the BBC to complain about racist remarks I heard on Mock the Week.They passed me to Ofcom, but I couldn"t understand what the Paki bitch was saying.
• The BBC have decided to air a television programme entitled: "Why Men Aren"t Sexists." It"s aimed at feminists and women in general who are frustrated with the way in which men see them in society.After careful planning, it has been scheduled to begin at 8:00pm.This allows women plenty of time to cook the dinner and wash up before the programme starts.
• Dr. Who lands the TARDIS on planet Earth way back in the Dark Ages, in a faraway land we now call Bangladesh."Where the bleedin" hell are we?" asks his companion, Donna."Well," replies the Doctor, leaving the Tardis and walking around, "judging by that disgusting smell and the fact that we appear to be surrounded by towelheads (little sheet heads) with no significant intelligence living in caves and mud huts... this is Bradford 2008!"
• On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist.They"ve obviously never been to the Britannia chippy on the Gloucester Road.
• Tim Henman"s career move to the BBC has been a really good one, as this way he"s guaranteed a place at the Wimbledon final.