Deprecated: mysql_pconnect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/gordondent/hahasincludes/libs/dblib.php on line 17 Back jokes - HaHas.co.uk | Ha HA Jokes
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?None
An Irish family have frozen to death outside a theatre in Dublin.They had been queuing for 3 weeks to see Closed For The Winter.
My wife has got long black hair running down her back...God , How I wish it was on her head
I hurt my back today.. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.
Two Irishmen are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... "Hey Paddy, do you smell what I smell. It"s bacon - I"m sure of it." "Yes, Mick, it smells like bacon to me." So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There"s raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there"s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat. "Paddy, paddy we"re saved. It is a bacon tree." "Mick, are you sure it"s not a mirage? We are in the desert, don"t forget." "Paddy, when did you ever hear of a mirage that smell like bacon? It"s no mirage, it"s a bacon tree."And, with that, Mick races towards the tree. He gets to within five metres, Paddy following closely behind, when, all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up and Mick is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Paddy with his dying breath. "Paddy... go back man, you was right it"s not a bacon tree." "Mick, Mick ... what the fuck is it?""Paddy... its not a bacon tree... it"s...it"s...it"s...it"s a Ham Bush."
Paddy"s girlfriend went to the doc"s to get the contraceptive pill.Doc told her that she couldn"t have it because she was already six month"s pregnant."I know I am pregnant," she exclaims to the Doc, "but Paddy has found this hole behind me and I don"t want a lump on my back as well."
You know you"re getting old when your back goes out more than you do.
How long is a hair on a rabbit"s back?About 10 minutes.
What"s the difference between a Lada and a sheep?It"s less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back of a sheep.
I think it"s safe to assume that going by the quality of the current jokes the American nation are up and about today.