Austrian jokes

• The BBC have reported that 10% of the population of Vienna are out watching the match tonight.Or 15% if you include the people in basements.
• The Austrians have taken their fondness for the Sound of Music too far. They even have their own Von Trapped family.
• News just in Elisabeth Fritzl has been disqualified from the international hide and seek championship after it was discovered that she had received help from her father.
• In a recent poll asking when was the best time to inform children of the facts of life, 9 out of 10 Austrians said they should be kept in the dark.
• How do you know if an Austrian girl is a virgin?Find out if she can run faster than her Dad.
• JOSEF FRITZL LTD.Cellar convertions and soundproofing specialist,a family business established 25 years!
• Austrian Women are like good wine....left to mature in a cellar.
• Good news - the Austrian cellar rapist is going to face the death penalty.Bad news - John Terry is going to take it
• Celebrity parents everywhere have been congratulating Josef Fritzl on his unusual but successful attempt at forcing fame on his children.
• I have just seen on TV about that Austrian bloke who imprisoned his daughter, sexually abused her and then fathered 7 kids.I think it was called "The Sound Of Music".
• I"ve just bought this Austrian girl"s diary off ebay. It"s not very interesting, it just says:Monday: Stayed inTuesday: Stayed inWednesday: Stayed in...
• I"m sweating like an Austrian at a family reunion.
• So, a daughter in the cellar, and an axe murderer in the closet.I can"t help but feel the Austrians are taking the game of Cluedo a little too seriously.
• Why don"t Austrians care whether their lovers are 4, 14 or 40 years old?Because one size Fritz-all.
• Now this is a story all about how myLife got flipped turned upside downAnd I"d like to take a minute just sit right thereI"ll tell you how I become the prince of my house"s CellairIn west Austria born and raised******* my daughter is where I spent most of my daysChillin" out, maxin", relaxin", all cooland building incest dungeons underneath my poolI took three kids out cuz they were all goodtold my wife they were just children from the neighborhood.I ****** just one of my daughters the police got scaredBut they don"t know the pin-code to my daughter"s Cellair.They called the partyvan and when it got nearThe license plate said "AUSTRIA" and it had dice in the mirror"you crazy" they said, "those ideas in your head are rare,"I said, "cool homes, it"s rape time, home, to Cellair!"She crawled out the house after 7 offspringAnd she yelled to the cops "Yo, I can"t speak German!"But I"m still pimping, I got three more lairs,so come and party with me, in my second Cellair.
• In my cellar, I"ve got Beer, a Dartboard and a Pool tableTrust the fucking Austrians to go one better.