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The Austrians have taken their fondness for the Sound of Music too far. They even have their own Von Trapped family.
Austrian police are pleased to announce that the Fritzl children are OK after living solely on sandwiches whilst in the dungeon.They said its a good job they were interbred!
Why do the Chinese always have to go one better than everyone else?The Austrians managed to trap 4 people under concrete so the Chinese outdid them with 50,000.
In Austria, no-one can hear you scream.
Theologians now reckon Jesus was Austrian:He only had two grandparents, his mother watched as he was nailed and his father is the big man upstairs.
A warning has gone out by the government to the more geeky football fans traveling to Austria for the European Championships to be wary if a local invites them to a game of Dungeons and Dragons
Despite all the investment in the recent Jubilee line extension, London transport bosses are gutted to see that Austria has a more advanced underground system.
Austrian authorities have said that Josef Fritzl has been improving as a father as of late. In fact, police have said that he has "Been coming into his own".
A man takes his nine year old daughter to the doctor. After several hours in the waiting room, (NHS...) they"re called in."Hello," the doctor says. "How can I help you?"The man nods, "It"s my daughter, I was wondering if you could put her on birth control.""Birth control?" the doctor is incredulous. "She"s too young to be sexually active!""Sexually active?" the father says, "She just lies there like her mother!"
I"m sweating like an Austrian at a family reunion.
Josef Fritzl from Austria had his daughter locked in his cellar for 24 years.If only Karen Matthews could"ve thought of that.
I"m going clubbing in Austria this year as I hear the underground house scene is really taking off.
Karen Matthews was asked what she thought of the despicable acts that have been going on in Austria for the past 24 years.she said "it"s bloody disgusting, 7 kids and only 1 dad"
The number of Stag do"s in Austria have fallen since the news got out that fathers really do lock up their daughters.
In my cellar, I"ve got Beer, a Dartboard and a Pool tableTrust the fucking Austrians to go one better.