Asda jokes

• Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box.Such a pity it was a puppy.
• Please remember a doggy is not just for christmas. ...Its a fucking great postion all the year round!!
• Why is Christmas like a day at work?Because you do all the work and some fat bastard in a suit gets all the credit!
• Where do people with learning difficulties shop?SPASDA
• Have you heard that Asda and MFI are forming a partnership?Yeah, I just bought a chicken from them - its leg fell off!
• Have you heard that Asda and MFI are forming a partnership?Yeah, i just bought a chicken this morning - its leg fell off!
• I"ve just bought some mince pies from Asda."Ideal for Christmas Day." It says on the box."Best before Nov 21."
• There"s a special on down at Asda...He"s working on the checkout.
• Woman shopping in Asda notices a cute young assistant,he has such a nice arse it makes her randy.She asks him to carry her shopping to her car,on the way she cannot hold back any more and says to him "I"ve got an itchy pussy".He says "You"ll have to point it out love,all these fucking Japanese cars look the same to me!!"